Happy the Way We Are

So, thanks to Jaaron, Joan ordered some colorless organic low-fat senior-citizen food called Flint River Ranch. Oh, it’s good and all. I even like the “vegetarian feast” canned food that she mixes with it. It’s just that I miss the old junk. Where are our big Milk Bone treats? She’s giving us carrots! We’re not horses, you know. Just because she’s into all this health stuff, she thinks we should do the same. I mean, it’s fine for Ziggy and Zion to keep trim out there in San Francisco where everyone tries to stay all buff (except for the junkies, of course); what with the warm weather out there, you can’t hide your jelly under a winter coat. But, we’re here in New York where the bad-weather days outweigh the good. Yikes. I gain one little pound and it’s like some sort of family emergency. Besides, Mark said he thought Shane—not me—had gotten a little chunky.

I’m not saying he is and I’m not saying he isn’t. I’m just saying, Shane and I are happy the way we are. And you should be, too.

Best wishes, Juno

PS: Hi, Taylor.