I like to watch Animal Planet. You can’t believe how much barking fills that channel, especially when they have the la-de-da dog shows. I’d never be allowed in one of those shows; I bet the producers wouldn’t even give me a job doling out paper napkins in the ladies room. I know they look down their pinched noses at a dogus mixus like me—not enough inbreeding to suit their taste. But, that’s okay. I’m not the beauty pageant type. Shane isn’t either. He’d probably bite the judge, like that dog in Best in Show—the best film ever made. And the director didn’t try to get me to cry like Disney always does. When I saw Old Yeller and Dumbo, I almost fainted from all my heartache. Christopher Guest doesn't play around with my emotions that way. Christopher Guest is my hero. Joan’s favorite is Waiting for Guffman, but I like his animal movie.
If dogs had something like a Westminster People Show, the winner would probably be Shreck in the best-in-show category. Wait. Joan says Shreck's not a person. I have to pick humans. Nuts. Well, in terms of walk, attitude, all-around friskiness, skin quality, and just-right white teeth, I’d have to pick George Clooney. In the cutest category, it would have to be Steven Chow of Shaolin Soccer fame—a good-guy-wins action film for both dog and human. And, in honor of this week's Donald Trump impression, the funniest would have to be Rosie O’Donnell. But, who am I to judge? It’s all such frivolity, isn’t it?
Best wishes, Juno
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