At Last: A Cure for the Hot Spot Blues!

Maybe it’s too early; maybe it wasn’t soon enough. Maybe it won’t last; maybe it will. For those of you who have been witness to my allergy problems—brave and uncomplaining as I am, I’m sure you read through the lines—and their accompanying miseries: the itching, the bald spots, the constant showers, the expensive shampoos—we might be on the brink of a cure.

Over the last two weeks, Joan has been switching me and Shane to an all-natural, no-by-product, no-food-dye, chemical-less, meatless diet. The switch is almost complete, and I haven’t had any allergy symptoms for at lest a week. Really.

So, it’s with hope and baited breath that I feel the cure, feel the healing, feel hope for a future without constant reminders that life is suffering.

I mean, it’s all very well for humans to embrace a Buddha-like philosophy of life and to look at each hot spot or broken heart or rainy day as some sort of life lesson leading to Nirvana in, like, 20 generations. But, in case you didn't know, I’m a dog, and dogs don’t need life lessons. We already know all the requirements for nirvanic (it’s a new adjective; do you like it?) earthly experiences—an itch-free life with good food, a soft bed, and reliable companionship. Humans want the same things, but they keep messing up.

And, just in case you, too, want to be allergy free (and, no, no one is paying me to say this), you might want to try copying my new diet: “Dick Van Patten’s Natural Balance” (vegetarian formula) dry food mixed with a can of “Nature’s Recipe” (vegetarian). What’s also nice about the canned veggie food is that it doesn't gross Joan out the way the other canned food did. No stinky meat smell, no hard-to-clean residue at the bottom of the can, and, best of all, no one has to die for my meals.

I get the best. I recommend the best. Pass it on.

Best wishes, Juno